Harley & Harp

The lot of the session musician – as told to Harmonica Riff Raff by Steve Williams…….

In 1993 I got a call from Doug at Toybox, a little studio in Northcote, for a harmonica session. He said it was a weird one. The artist, a Dutch chimney sweep called Bill Cook from Torquay, was in love with Harley Davidson motor bikes and had written a song about them.

When I arrived I was introduced to Bill, who was very thin and about seven feet tall. Attempting a gag, I said to him, “No wonder you’re a chimney sweep! Whack on an afro wig and up you go!” He just stared at me and said in his brutalist Dutch accent, “Well, I don’t know what that means, but anyway Doug here says you’re the man for the ‘armonica I want on my song about the ‘arley Davidson.”

“OK,” I said, “What key are we in Bill?”

“Well, I don’t know anything about that.” he replied.

“Alright… Doug do you know the key?”

“No. There’s no actual music, just a sampled Harley for the drum track. We brought the bike into the studio and sampled the roar, and then we hit the chrome with a drum stick for the beat and Bill sang.”

“OK….well put on the track and I’ll try to work out the key.”

Doug put on the track, Steel Stallions, which began with Bill screaming, “Let’s go man. Give it the big snake. Yeah, biggest mother of all. No more plastic bullshit.” The motorbike started up and there was a harsh clang on two and four. Then Bill began singing, in a strangulated voice with an Edith Piaf vibrato, his incomprehensible song about riding his steel stallion in the valley. He was in the key of A and somehow, without any music he stayed in the key all the way (possibly because what he was doing didn’t really resemble singing in any traditionally understood sense).

I usually play acoustically, but because it was a motor bike song, I’d brought along a crappy 40 watt amp with a distortion knob, a TC distortion pedal and a $29 mic from the Reject Shop. Bill told me to play wherever I wanted to, so I played a heavily distorted Paul Butterfield – influenced solo and lots of fills. He’s going to love this I thought as I looked up expectantly at the end of the chaos. Bill was standing in the booth with his arms folded.

“Well that’s no good. No bloody good at all. That’s not what I want. Too much bloody buzz buzz!” He exclaimed.

“Oh…OK.” I was beginning to realize that Bill possessed a fair amount of traditional Dutch frankness. “No worries, Bill, I’ll take off all the distortion and just play cleanly through the amp.”

I gave it another go ….“Let’s go man. Give it the big snake…..” but I played the same way, lots of long single – note lines and a Butterfield solo, just no distortion. This time when I looked up Bill was scowling and shaking his head.  “No. No. No…. NO BLOODY GOOD!” 

By now Doug was starting to look distressed. Admittedly back then I had a reputation for speaking my mind, sometimes harshly and I think Doug had visions of me flying straight through the glass into the booth and strangling Bill with a guitar lead. (In the studio scene you are rarely spoken to like this. If they don’t like what you’re doing they will gently suggest a different approach or a particular player they would like you to emulate. After about six takes if they still don’t like what you’ve done they’ll tell how great it was and how they have plenty to work with. And as you pack up you can see someone in the booth on the phone to the next guy on the list. I’ve worked for dozens of producers including Mike Brady, Peter Sullivan, Paul Grabowsky, Bruce Rowland, and only Bill Cook ever told me NO NO NO. NO BLOODY GOOD!)

I was nonplussed. Bill said “Look, I’ve got a cassette here of how I’d like it to sound if you don’t mind.”

“No worries Bill.” I said. “Fantastic. It will give me a clue.” And I’m thinking this is going to be some impossible Larry Adler or Stevie Wonder. Doug put the cassette on in the studio and I heard him mutter to himself, “Oh no.” He put the cassette through the headphones. It was me. It was the long introduction to Chain Reaction, where I walked from the back of the Rod Laver arena up to the stage. It’s from the 1992 Farnham live compilation album Full House. Thinking he would be pleased with this development I said with a grin, “Hey Bill, that’s me!” To which he replied, “Well, you should have no trouble bloody doing it then should you!” By now Doug had his head on the desk.

But at least I knew what he wanted…..lots of 4 and 5 shakes like Chain Reaction. Doug set up a Rode mic on a stand and I played acoustically. One take and Bill was happy. “There you bloody go! Beautiful. Why didn’t you do that the first time?”

I went into the booth and queried Bill. “Bill, when you took that off the Full House album didn’t you realize it was me?” He retorted, “I didn’t get it off an album. It’s the theme music from 3AW’s Buy Swap and Sell.” (an early Sunday morning program hosted by Darren James where listeners offer their rubbish for sale. A Trading Post of the airwaves.) “Is that right?” I said. “Just the solo harmonica? I don’t remember getting paid for that!”  

Bill subsequently added a drum machine and a guitar to Steel Stallions, but when I did it, it was just me and the bike. He had patented the Harley sound and was eventually sued (unsuccessfully) by Harley Davidson. Bill brought some copies of his album to my house in Oakleigh and urged me to get it to Farnham. “This could give his career a big bloody boost. Who wouldn’t like a song about the bloody ‘arley Davidson?” I did eventually play it for Farnham at a well lubricated after show gathering in his suite. After he stopped laughing he said “Digital technology and the rise of ridiculously cheap recording equipment has a lot to answer for!”

A few years later I was at a Jackie Weaver book launch (she is my son’s God Aunty) and Darren James happened to be there. I marched up to him and said, “Where’s my money?” He leaned forward, looking startled and said, “I beg your pardon?” I replied, “I’m the harmonica player. Where’s my money?” I told him the story and he stated, “Buy Swap and Sell eh? We call that the Urine Stained Mattress Show.”

At a Union Q & A for aspiring musicians, which I hosted with guitarist Ed Bates and trumpeter Reg Walsh, one of the questions was ‘What was your most humiliating moment?’ I chuckled, “mine was being asked by a Dutch chimney sweep if I could possibly play like myself”.

For more on Steve checkout this post One Link In A Chain.

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