With the suburban and country football leagues 2026 season ending, with grand finals played, or about to be, why not another football post?
Bruce was a legend of Australian Rules Football – note I use the correct term, not the corporate games moniker of today. He was there on the box in my formative years. A Sunday religion was World of Sport (WOS) where Bruce was a panelist for twenty years. His longest kick segment is etched in my memory.
Too bad he played for that mob. Okay, in a way I did too, playing a few first eleven games of cricket with Collingwood, after my brutal sacking from Prahran.
In Football Notes, posted in 2023, Bruce’s name was prominent on the program for the Herald Football Minstrels of 1938 as a member of the Mouth Organs. Bruce’s mouth organ colleagues include fellow footballers; Len Stott, Jim Greenham, Diddy Shorten (at that time an umpire) and umpire Alan Coward. Here’s just a wee look at their footy records.
Famous Five – Footy Mouth Organists
VFL Stats
Leonard Stott from Fitzroy (previous club Preston). Played midfield for 62 games and 16 goals from 1932 – 37. He was 5 ft 10 in (178 cm) and weighed in at 161 lb (73kg).
Edward ‘Diddy’ Shorten played 6 games (4 goals) with North Melbourne in 1925. He transferred to Essendon during the 1926 season to join his cousin George. Diddy played 5 games (4 goals) with the bombers, including their Grand Final loss against Melbourne. Diddy also umpired in the VFL, as a boundary umpire in 12 games between 1930 and 1931 and as a goal umpire in 144 games from 1939 to 1949. He was 5 ft 6 in (168 cm) and 128 lb (58 kg).
Allan Coward was a Field Umpire in 107 games from 1934 to 1943. He officiated in seven finals plus two grand finals in 1939 and 1940.
James Greenham played for Footscray (previous club Footscray Tech Old Boys). He played 79 games and kicked 47 goals from 1937 – 41 and 1943 – 47. Jim was 6 ft 0 in (183 cm) and 168 lb (76 kg).
Cyril Bruce Andrew represented Collingwood (previous team Abbotsford). He played 67 games kicking 11 goals from 1928 to 1934. He was in two premiership teams in 1928 and 1930. He stood 5 ft 9 in (174) and tipped the scales at 152 lb (69kg).
W.O.S
Check out my Uncle Wal on World Of Sport. (Click on TV) Uncle Wal hand-balled the two tickets to the Australian Open at Kooyong to Dad and myself. From memory we sat high in the bleachers watching Pat Cash.
As a twelve year old I attempted to ‘Beat the Champs’. Another one time cracker segment on W.O.S. The champs had encyclopaedic minds on all things sport. My question was, who were the batsmen to hold the last (might have been near last??) wicket test record partnership for Australia? I beat the first two, but the last champ came up with the goods. I later received a cheque ($12.50??) in the mail for progressing to the last man. Woohoo!
I also appeared on the show in footage from time to time (early eighties) during the Victorian District (Premier) Cricket segment – difficult not to when you were a wicketkeeper.
Yo Yo
What a wonderful Father’s Day gift from my son. The Fitzroy lions have never existed in his lifetime except from my recollections and old VHS cassettes. As a little tacker he learned of the exploits of the likes of Mickey Conlon and Richard ‘Tricky Dicky’ Osborne (he could even tell you their jumper numbers).
And who didn’t have a Yo Yo in the early seventies? We even had professionals demonstrate all the moves at our school. I had a Russell Coca Cola Yo Yo and I could walk the dog, go around the world and rock the baby. It became somewhat of a weapon when going around the world, in fact even a missile when the string broke (better practised outdoors).
I’m pretty sure I related to my son (more than once probably) of heading off to the Royal Show, on my ‘Pat’ when about thirteen to purchase one object, a Fitzroy Yo Yo. Why? Well for one, it was the only place they were available and for some reason I just had to have it! There ya go, caught up in commercialism and the corporatism of our great game! That’s all I did at the show. No rides, no show bags, nothing else. And it’s no small return trip from Parkdale on the old Red Rattler or Bluey!
For some unexplained reason the Yo Yo is no longer in my possession. Where could it be now? There’s nothing wrong with my state of mental health.
It’s wasn’t the same type of Yo Yo that Lachie purchased (it’s a bloody good one though, my gast was flabbered – has the string too), but a Dowell Company Yo Yo. The Collingwood one is pictured below I couldn’t locate a Fitzroy special. You can purchase one like this on the well known online auction platform for $240, or a Carlton one for $400!
Lions Run Away in the Last Term
Those were the days my friends we thought they’d never end. They did and well before 1996. In retrospect, having witnessed what the great game has become, they probably did me a favour.
Many moons ago on my radio program, I put some harp on Greg Champion’s VFL Park In The Dark (Roos is like a Mexican Dancer). A little rough and ready as I played it live on air over a hot mic and an old acoustic recording of Gregs. Thought I might bang it in here once more for all you other Fitzroy tragics.
VFL Park in the Dark
I went to VFL Park
I went to VFL Park in the dark
(Let me tell ya) I saw Bolzon make a mistake on the wing
I bought a hot dog at halftime
I saw the Lions run away in the last term
And John Ironmonger did a one-handed pick-up on the run
And that's fair dinkum
Down at VFL Park
It was at VFL Park in the dark
And what's more, Gary Pert made a magic save in front of goal
I saw O'Dwyer take a strong mark on the lead
The cheer squad got involved as the Demons got that goal
Just as the siren sounded for halftime
It was at VFL Park
It was at VFL Park in the dark
Now Micky Conlan did several handballs (which was an unusual thing)
Keane looked good in patches
Roos is like a Mexican dancer
The Demons, they had no answer
Where? Down at VFL Park
It was at VFL Park in the dark
Nowhere else, VFL Park
That's where it was, that's where it was, that's where it was
VFL Park in the dark
(Greg Champion)
One might be forgiven for linking this song with the floodlights going out at VFL Park Waverley. They did in 1996 during the third quarter in a match between Essendon and St. Kilda and as recent as March 2023 (with ten minutes to go) when Brisbane (they’re not the Roys) played Melbourne.
Hear here the commentators reaction
Fitzroy were involved in a number of firsts during the history of the Victorian Football League. They appeared in the very first night match at VFL Park against North Melbourne in 1977. And guess what? Yep, the lights went out before the game. The match started an hour late! But no the song is just about a quarter final in the 1988 National Panasonic preseason night competition.
I had an opportunity to speak to the song’s author a couple of weeks back.
PS: Welcome to HRR Greg. How did your fabulous tune VFL Park In The Dark come to fruition?
GC: Thanks Shep. I get a great buzz whenever this song is mentioned because it’s, in a sense, my favourite footy song out of the four thousand odd I have penned.
It’s just referring to a night game with the hook being VFL park in the dark – meaning at night. It’s a bit of parodying. I had been listening to Van Morrison’s ‘Inarticulate Speech of the Heart’, which is my favorite Van album. If you like, it’s a fusion of several melodies from that album. There might have been a bit of smoke with the writing of that song too.
PS: Can you recall anything regarding the recording of the tune, Champs?
GC: We put it down at a new studio in Mount Waverley. I only went there once and we had the very famous James Black come and play keys on it. In fact, J. J. Hackett played drums on it. James Black gives it all the Van Morrison style keyboards. And Wayne Duncan would have been on bass. It had a bit of class on it.
PS: Greg your guitar is very distinctive on the recording.
GC: Well, it wanted an acoustic 12 string and I didn’t own one then, but there was one in the studio and it was shit. It was like the strings hadn’t been changed in 12 years.
PS: Thanks for your time today Greg and thanks for the memories through your footy tunes, in particular VFL Park In The Dark.
GC: It’s a pleasure to be able to revisit that song. Thanks for the inquiry Shep.
Interestingly (or funny) at the time I played the harmonica over Greg’s acoustic version live to air I proclaimed that I was harnessing my inner Van Morrison (see comments on Football Notes blog). Spooky hey?
Here’s a link to the recorded version of VFL Park In The Dark and to the game it refers Fitzroy v Melbourne.
Roy’s
Fitzroy was involved in a couple of firsts in April of 1970. In the season’s opener they contested the Richmond Tigers for the very first Sunday match at the MCG, with the Queen in attendance. The Royboys defeated the red hot favourites – Fitzroy 16.20 (116) to Richmond 14.12 (96). Later that month they ventured out to Waverley for the very first game at VFL Park (we were there) against Geelong. I cannot recall the score. We must have lost!
“No Guru, No Method, No Teacher. Just you and I and nature, and the Father and the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” Van Morrison
Harmonica Riff Raff 